4.3.2012

In January, I did a 4 week cross fit boot camp. I fell in love with cross fit. Now if I could only afford to join the gym. Cross fit gyms are quite costly. I suppose I could sell my first born but I believe that is actually illegal. Maybe I will find the financial excess in the future. At any rate, I found strength that I was not aware that I had. I felt truly empowered.

On the home front, we are getting ready for a move. This will more than likely be where we live until we die. It is in a more rural part of the area and we will have three acres to spread out on. I am super excited to be able to have the space for a veggie garden and flower beds galore. My parents will be living with us. The plans are to build them an apartment over the garage. They should end up with somewhere between 1200-1500 sq ft so this will be a downsize for them and we will be upsizing to about 2600 sq ft. This should take financial stress off of them and us as we will be sharing the living costs. This house will also allow my kids to attend a much better school than where we currently live. It should be rather interesting. I am very nervous about this decision but I think that we will all be ok.

1.30.2012

  This is what I looked liked in the summer of 2009. This is what I am working so hard to never be again. That fat chick in the middle. I cringe when I see this picture. How the hell did I let myself get that way? I was at my heaviest then. A whopping 200 pounds. Since then, I have had a ton of emotional ups and downs in my life. Mostly downs. Those downs also helped to keep me fat. I ate when I was bored, lonely, tired, etc. and I was all of the above all of the time. Then when I ate, I ate like shit. After I ate like shit, I felt like shit. Then I developed a “what the hell” attitude because I felt like I didn’t matter enough and I was already fat so why bother to try to eat right.

 

I don’t know what got into me but it was like a light bulb went off. In June of 2011, I decided to start moving my ass. I began to count calories. Calories in had to be less than calories out. I have a neighbor that had a baby in March and she wanted to lose the baby weight. We started walking every single day together. We began around June 1 and walked three miles a day religiously. We encouraged each other to get out even when we did not feel like it. I think that having someone depend on me was part of what helped push me to continue. There were so many days when I did not feel like going. I am so happy that I did because the weigh started to come off and I gained an amazing friend out of it. I love that girl dearly.

 

Another awesome thing happened as I was losing weight. My husband noticed. He started telling me how great I looked and that I was beautiful. Words that I needed to hear. Words that I hadn’t heard in a long time. He started asking me to go workout with him and his buddy. We would go to the parking garage downtown and run the stairs. This was super hard for me and I always paid for it the next day but it also felt so good. My muscles were letting me know that I was actually doing something.

 

As the fall came and school began, it became increasingly more difficult for my walking buddy and I to get out due to homework, cooking dinner at a reasonable hour, and lack of daylight. Neither one of us wanted to go after dark alone either. I had a groupon that my girl Keri had given me for my birthday last January. It was for a place that has cardio classes as well as pole dancing classes. I figured what the hell so I started attending classes there in the beginning of December. Meanwhile I signed up for CrossFit Boot Camp that was to start in January. I figured I would work out all of December using the groupon and then I would knock out January at boot camp. I also bought another groupon to go back to the cardio and pole classes after boot camp ends.

 

Boot camp has been awesome. We attend Monday, Wednesday, and Friday for four weeks. I am starting week four and I am so happy I did it. It has been the toughest month of my life and I have used muscles that I did not know I had. I hurt all over but it feels so good. They are major proponents of The Paleo Diet. I am venturing into a somewhat paleo lifestyle. I can not say that I will ever be 100% paleo but I am trying to adopt better cooking and eating habits based on the paleo ways. My honey and I both want to join the gym. I bought him a gift certificate to go try the gym for a month and he loves it too. It is super expensive so we will have to see what we can do to try to join. Not sure that we can squeeze it into our budget but we will certainly try. I really had no idea that I would love it like I do. It is not for the girly girl. You get sweaty and dirty and some of the exercises can be pretty unconventional but that is what I think that appeals to me.

 

After all this hard work, I am down roughly 40 pounds since the picture from 2009. I would like to drop at least another 20 but I know that I am gaining muscle so that may be a stretch. Muscle weighs more than fat so I am going to just go by clothing size and how they fit, how I look, and how I feel. Below is how I look right now.

 

Not too bad. I have gone from a very tight 16 down to loose 12 and wearing some 10. I used to wear XL shirts and sweaters and the sweater in the picture above is a medium. The jeans are a 10. The belt needs extra holes punched in it. I used to wear that belt on one of the loosest holes. At my heaviest, I wore a men’s XL sweatshirt or t-shirt just to fit my tummy and boobs. Last night I bought a men’s small pullover fleece and I have plenty of room in it. I feel good enough to go buy sexy panties from Victoria’s Secret. I am in no way in perfect shape and I still have a lot that I want to achieve but I do feel a lot better about how I look. It is going to be a good year. I am liking the new less lazy me.

12.27.2011

Well it has been over a year since I have posted anything. To be honest, I really haven’t felt much like being very social. I have been in and out of a funk for two years and it sucks.

 

Currently, I am down 17-20 pounds depending on the day. I started walking 3 miles a day and and going to run stairs with my husband to try to get into shape. Once it started getting colder and darker early I started to use my punch card for some cardio and strength training classes. My awesome friend Keri bought it for me for my birthday last year and I a truly enjoying the classes. In January, I start crossfit bootcamp. I am super excited to start and see some more changes in my body. I haven’t been eating all that great since Thanksgiving but that is about to change as well. The last thing I want is to gain any of the weight back. It feels so good to be able to buy smaller clothes. My goal is to lose at least another 20 pounds but I am trying to watch my shape more than be a slave to the number on the scale. I would love to be bikini weather by this summer.

 

Not quite sure why I have felt so antisocial lately but I know that a few of my closest friends think I have fallen off the planet. I am still here but I am just working through a lot of crap in my head. I guess I tend to be like a turtle and hide in my shell at times. It’s funny because I just realized that part of the reason that I love dance music is for the fact that it doesn’t make me think. It isn’t deep or emotional and sometimes I want to be free of thinking and emotion. It also makes me want to shake what my momma gave me!

 

In October, I got 5 new tattoos. Three total on my inner wrists and 2 on the back of my neck. They all have deep meaning to me. I have plans to get several more with the next one I want being a Phoenix which happens to be my dancer name I am using at the place where I am taking the cardio classes. The Phoenix symbolizes REBIRTH. Over the last two years I feel like I have been through a sort of rebirth. I love tattoos. Not everyone would agree but that is ok. Everyone has their own ideas of beauty but they make me feel sexy. I feel like my body is a canvas that needs to be decorated and celebrated.

 

 

 

 

12.3.10

Well my 30 Days of Truth only lasted a whole 13 days. Oh well that is typical for me. It’s a Friday night and I am sitting on my couch enduring a raging bout of PMS and craving the hell out of some chocolate ice cream. There is nothing on tv at all. Blech!

 

I had today off work and I am taking the next two Fridays off and the 23rd off as well. I am trying to burn the personal time I have so I don’t lose it. I an going to carry over two vacation days into 2011. As of the moment, we are planning to take a trip to the mountains for my birthday. Hopefully it won’t fall through because like I have mentioned before, the mountains is my “happy place”.

 

I am so not ready for Christmas. We really haven’t done any shopping and my husband will only get one more paycheck before the holiday and I will get 3 more. I am not totally inspired either. I have a very difficult time trying to figure out what to get for my inlaws and my parents.

 

Thanksgiving was great. I cooked. Only my mother and father came over so it was a very relaxed day. My mother convinced me to get up and go shopping at 3 am on Black Friday. This year was the first time I decided to do it and I must say it was sorta fun. Luckily we did not run into too many rude or crazy people.

 

I am looking forward to the new year. I am hoping that we can plan a trip to San Diego this summer. I have family out there so we have a place to stay. I have always wanted to go to the San Diego Zoo and I think that my kids would really enjoy it. Hopefully I can also see some of you Cali girls too. It will all depend on my man’s Firefighter Challenge schedule and money.

30 Days of Truth: Day 13

Day 13: A band or artist who has gotten you through some tough ass days.

 

I can not really narrow this down to just one band or artist. There are some many who’s songs that I relate to at different times of my life.  I thank God for music in my life. It has always been my go to, to help me through good and bad times.