Currently, I am down 17-20 pounds depending on the day. I started walking 3 miles a day and and going to run stairs with my husband to try to get into shape. Once it started getting colder and darker early I started to use my punch card for some cardio and strength training classes. My awesome friend Keri bought it for me for my birthday last year and I a truly enjoying the classes. In January, I start crossfit bootcamp. I am super excited to start and see some more changes in my body. I haven’t been eating all that great since Thanksgiving but that is about to change as well. The last thing I want is to gain any of the weight back. It feels so good to be able to buy smaller clothes. My goal is to lose at least another 20 pounds but I am trying to watch my shape more than be a slave to the number on the scale. I would love to be bikini weather by this summer.

Not quite sure why I have felt so antisocial lately but I know that a few of my closest friends think I have fallen off the planet. I am still here but I am just working through a lot of crap in my head. I guess I tend to be like a turtle and hide in my shell at times. It’s funny because I just realized that part of the reason that I love dance music is for the fact that it doesn’t make me think. It isn’t deep or emotional and sometimes I want to be free of thinking and emotion. It also makes me want to shake what my momma gave me!

In October, I got 5 new tattoos. Three total on my inner wrists and 2 on the back of my neck. They all have deep meaning to me. I have plans to get several more with the next one I want being a Phoenix which happens to be my dancer name I am using at the place where I am taking the cardio classes. The Phoenix symbolizes REBIRTH. Over the last two years I feel like I have been through a sort of rebirth. I love tattoos. Not everyone would agree but that is ok. Everyone has their own ideas of beauty but they make me feel sexy. I feel like my body is a canvas that needs to be decorated and celebrated.

I had today off work and I am taking the next two Fridays off and the 23rd off as well. I am trying to burn the personal time I have so I don’t lose it. I an going to carry over two vacation days into 2011. As of the moment, we are planning to take a trip to the mountains for my birthday. Hopefully it won’t fall through because like I have mentioned before, the mountains is my “happy place”.

I am so not ready for Christmas. We really haven’t done any shopping and my husband will only get one more paycheck before the holiday and I will get 3 more. I am not totally inspired either. I have a very difficult time trying to figure out what to get for my inlaws and my parents.

Thanksgiving was great. I cooked. Only my mother and father came over so it was a very relaxed day. My mother convinced me to get up and go shopping at 3 am on Black Friday. This year was the first time I decided to do it and I must say it was sorta fun. Luckily we did not run into too many rude or crazy people.

I am looking forward to the new year. I am hoping that we can plan a trip to San Diego this summer. I have family out there so we have a place to stay. I have always wanted to go to the San Diego Zoo and I think that my kids would really enjoy it. Hopefully I can also see some of you Cali girls too. It will all depend on my man’s Firefighter Challenge schedule and money.

I can not really narrow this down to just one band or artist. There are some many who’s songs that I relate to at different times of my life.  I thank God for music in my life. It has always been my go to, to help me through good and bad times.

Um…..I don’t know how to answer this one.

Uh…..nothing really.

We all know that a vacation means money spent. Well even though I was home all week, this vacation was no different than any other. The hubby and I traded in my car, got his truck paid off, and got a Suburban. We actually ended up dropping our payments by $30 a month which isn’t a ton of money but we now have a newer car and a car that I love and a 5 year extended bumper to bumper warranty.Today, Mason got his first cavity filled. He has been deathly afraid to get a filling so about two weeks ago I came up with a story to convince him that it had to be done. I told him that there were purple people eaters in his mouth eating his teeth for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. He started to cry and told me to take him to the dentist right away. I made the appointment and SCORE! The story worked. The dentist and her assistant played along with the story. We even convinced him that he would not get a shot and he still has no idea that he DID get a shot.  I am so proud of my little man. He was great.As soon as we left the dentist, we headed to 7-11 and my baby got a cherry and blue raspberry slurpee.

There isn’t really anyone that I feel the need to let go of but there are a couple of people that I wish I had never met.  I do not have nice thoughts of these people. That is all I have to say.

There are a few people in my life that have drifted in and out. There are a couple that drifted out and thank GOD they drifted back in. One is Keri. We have been friends since high school. We met through our boyfriends at the time. I went on to marry my boyfriend and she has now reunited with that boyfriend from so long ago. She has always been there for me. Through think and thin and I lover her dearly. We drifted apart when she lived in Florida. We were living very different lives and let our friendship drift a bit. That didn’t mean that we loved each other any less. We just had other things on our agenda and had a hard time making time for one another. This may sound terrible but I am actually a little bit thankful for her bout with a serious illness. That really woke me up and made me realize that life is too short to not make time for those that I love.

The second one that I am very greatful for drifting back into my life is Kirsten. We have known each other since 8th grade. We hated each other when we first met. I thought that she was such a bitch but she thought the same thing of me. We are very much alike. We think very much the same way. We come from very similar families. We became friends in the 9th grade and remained close for many years. Then for some reason, we drifted apart. She moved and we lost touch. I finally, after several years, called her mother to find out where she was. It turns out we were both pregnant and due within weeks of one another. We have talked several times a week since. She is the one person I can call at midnight and I know she will be up and willing to hear me bitch. I love her very much.

This actually refers back to day 4. Same person. One year ago, my life was pure hell. The people closest to me know who it was and what was done to make me so miserable. Is it forgivable? Yes. Am I happy now? Yes. At the time, I felt as though I could not even get out of bed and face the daily grind. I couldn’t eat, couldn’t sleep, couldn’t think, or work. I pretty much couldn’t do anything. It was by far the darkest time of my life. I never want to live that again. Thank GOD, I came out of that funk and and much happier for it.

That is the easiest answer yet. My babies. Since I became a mother, I am way more fearful of death. Not fearful of death itself, but not being here to mother my kids. They are by far the two best things I have ever done. I have been much more conscious of my decisions and how the outcome could affect my kids. I always ask myself if what I am doing is dangerous and could it take me away from my children forever. It sounds a bit like I am a worry wart but since they have come into my life, I have definitely become more of a worrier. I want to see them grow up, get married, and have kids of their own. They make me love life and have the desire to be here. Even when I was at the lowest point of my life a year ago….they could still make me smile.